Hi There!

Hi There!


Monday, April 23, 2012

Coming to terms

Very recently I've had to come to terms with some hard things. First of all, I have come to realize how idealistic I can be. Its been rough coming to this realization, but I'm glad I have. I've been trying to control EVERYTHING in my life, and I finally get it.. I can't. I was so so so against public school, for a lot of reasons, but am coming to terms with the fact that it is probably where my son will end up going in the fall. He needs speech therapy, we can't afford private school, I can't homeschool him with 2 other children (under 2 years old!) who need me. So. There it is. As hard as it has been. I've realized how worried I am that he won't pay attention in class, he'll have trouble learning and interacting, that he'll fall behind. I have to give all of these things to God. I've had to already, and will continue to have to do it. I worry A WHOLE FREAKING LOT. Its not too fun.

Oh, and I also gave up being a vegetarian. The reason? I craved meat when I first got pregnant. That had never happened to me before. My Mom said something along the lines of, there's probably a reason why you're craving it- you probably need it. I thought, "Ya know, she's probably right." So. I started eating meat again. I still eat vegetarian meals, I did the other night actually- black bean quesadillas- and it was so good! And every time I go to Jimmy Johns or Subway, I get a veggie sandwich. I think they're so very tasty. But I'm not gonna be a freak-out and uppity about what I eat anymore. Its so stupid, that's what I used to do. (How lame.) I'm not saying everyone who is a vegetarian is this way- I'm saying that I used to be this way. So I'm done with that. Moving on, thank you. :)

I'm going to be 27 in a few months, and I'm so happy to be growing up, learning more about life and myself, etc. It feels freeing. I'm not saying I'm anywhere near "wise" because I'm not. Not one bit. I have a WHOLE lot to learn. Life is a great big learning lesson. And I'm excited about that. I just wanted to share that bit of my life lately, because it feels freeing to JUST LET GO. Let go of the worry and control, let go and breathe. I have such peace in the Lord, and I am forever thankful to Him. :)

Have a great great day.

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